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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

[ tv spoiler ] Leaked script segment from upcoming episode of LOST


For those of you that watch Lost, you're well aware of the impending war set to take place on Craphole Island. The following script segment was sent to me by someone I have on the inside.
The following is a more or less verbatim transcript from the upcoming episode right as the Lostaways are preparing for imminent battle.



Jack
Okay... I know I don't have to tell any of you just how dangerous this is going to be. If any of you choose to back out, we won't hold it against you.

[Jack glances over at a Lostaway we haven't met before wearing a bright red shirt. This is Gus. Gus nods grimly, but firmly. He's in. With a softer expression, Jack's gaze moves over to Rose, who's brandishing a rifle. She pats her gun, and then pats the large knife strapped to her leg under her comfortable slacks. She's ready.]

Jack
Alright. So here's what we're up against. These are the Others. We call them that because, well, because they're not US. And if you're not with us, you're against us.

Unnamed male Lostaway
How will we know it's one of the Others, and not just someone we don't know really well. I mean, until today, I'd never seen that guy over there. [points at Gus].

Unnamed female Lostaway
Yeah... [pointing at an older man wearing a red parka]... that guy's an Eskimo. We've been on this island nearly two months, and I didn't know we had an Eskimo living with us.

Hurley
You mean Metek? You didn't know about Metek? He wasn't on the plane. He was tracking a polar bear in Alaska or somewhere and ended up here and says now he can't get back.

[Metek nods solemnly and begins gesturing animatedly with his handmade spear and speaking pointedly in his Eskimo language. It's not revealed what he says, but his meaning is clear. He wants to get back at the Others]

Sawyer
Okay, quiet down Santa. You'll get your crack at them... [under his breath] but not until after I've had a little chat with ole Zeke...

Locke
There is an easy way to distinguish the Others with a capital O from the others with a lower case O. The Others will be dramatically lit from below, making them look more evil.

Charlie
What about Ethan? He wasn't lit from below...

Locke
Ethan was a spy, and had his lighting adjusted accordingly.

Claire
[while leaning over Aaron and putting camo face paint on his face and body.]
What do we do if we see something we've never seen before or meet someone that might be able to help us? Should we ask them some questions?

Jack
Questions? What do you mean?

Locke
The time for questions is conveniently past us. Now is the time for action.

Jack
Okay, now Mr. Eko is going to let us in on some special intelligence he's acquired from his time on the other side of the island. Mr. Eko?

Eko
Thank you. I killed some Others with my bare hands. I'd rather not talk about it. Thank you. [sits down]

Jack
Okay, there are two special Others that you need to be especially wary of. One of them is apparently carrying a teddy bear and is considered highly dangerous. Shoot to kill, repeat, SHOOT TO KILL. The other Other is a more terrifying prospect. It can apparently change size at will, especially if it senses danger. Do not engage in combat with this Other without backup support.

Desmond
What do we do with the prisoners, brutha?

Locke
That's kind of a silly question, isn't it?

Jack
Prisoners? This is WAR. There won't be any prisoners. Prisoners lead to questions. And questions lead to answers. And that's the last thing we want. Now you all have your assignments. Good luck.

2 comments:

Corey Bond said...

Excellent.

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